to help you shop and cook, only she was actually hip and witty, and she gave you a shopping list that sent you down aisles you don’t actually go, and every time you checked Facebook, there were supportive friends chatting and sharing tips and recipes, and it was fine to eat chocolate, and every time you made a recipe, it took no time at all and instead of feeling like a diet, it felt like you went to culinary school, and that hip not-grandma virtually tucked you in every night with words of encouragement, and then you realize you feel 100% more alive than you felt before, and you get on the scale and you are 5 lbs lighter?